Yellow is too High

"I'm pretty far from okay."

     As I get back in the car from my visit to the medical marijuana dispensary, I'm elated. It's almost as if there is some living entity in the green plastic medicine bottles, radiating goodness, light, and hope. I can't wait any longer. The anxiety in my gut needs to know if this natural wonder is going to help. I'm having visions in my head of turning in armfulls of pills at the next old medicine collection day. I see myself having energy again. I see myself not feeling like I have the flu all of the time. I pull the green bottle of oil, the 1:1 THC to CBD out of the bag and take the 0.1ml I'm supposed to start with. 

     I know that it is going to be a little while (30-90 minutes) until I will experience any effects. Brian and I stop at The Lost Dog Cafe for lunch. It's a sunny day and our waiter is a funny character. The food tastes really good. A few minutes after we are done with our meal, I'm chatting with Brian, and then everything seems to get a little softer around the edges. Most anything that alters reality for me kicks in anxiety pretty quickly, but not this time. I can feel everything in me just relax and I do feel, in a word, good. This is very promising.

     Around lunchtime I had taken my regular medications of diazepam and tylenol with codeine, so the big test will be when I get home and try the vape pen my doctor recommended for breakout pain instead of my codeine, the medicine which I so desperately want to get off of. 

     We arrive back in Ithaca just in time to collect our children (young adults) from school. We have been very open with them about integrating medical marijuana into my health plan. It was a difficult decision talking to my teenage children about it. I don't want them using marijuana recreationally and I'm afraid of setting a poor role model. In the end I decided that secret keeping would present more of a poor example than having an open hearted discussion as a family. (This will turn out to be a wise decision. Keep reading.) 

     4pm rolls around and on cue my back pain begins to return. 

     Now, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I used to be a cigarette smoker. I somehow figured that a vape pen would work much the same way. After loading and charging my $175 yellow coded vape pen, I was as ready as ever. I pressed the on button and gently took a "cigarette" drag. This was a very big miscalculation on my behalf. The pen's package describes the oil as being "gently warmed". It would appear that the words "gently" and "warm" mean very different things to different people.  My lungs fill completely with what can only be described as burning lava. I proceed directly to become a human smoke machine, hacking up vapor smoke around my apartment for at least the next five minutes. Before I'm even done hacking, I can tell by the way my ears start to ring that this is going to be an ordeal.

     If anyone has had the delightful experience of getting way, way too high on marijuana, you can stop reading here. If not, I will break it down into a few phases.

     Phase 1: Phase 1 begins with my ears filling with a loud ringing and ever answer to every question I ever had about anything appears. I immediately figure out how we can all live in peace. Every disagreement I've had with every person or institution is solved easily with just a few actions. I wonder, why is it I never realized any of this before. The answers and questions begin to pick up speed and soon none of it makes sense. 

     Phase 2: My vision blurs and I start seeing things in twos and threes. The burning in my lungs sets in and I can't breath. I'm certain I am suffocating and having a heart attack at the same time. Now instead of relaxing my back and neck go into full spasm.

     Brian looks at me and asks, "Are you okay?"

     That Pulp Fiction scene with Ving Rhames and Bruce Willis floats through my head. 

     "I'm pretty far from okay." 

     Brian leads me into the bedroom and helps me take my regular pharmaceuticals. 

     Phase 3: I can't even open my eyes. It's far to overstimulating for my brain. I'm in agony. This is the opposite of what I could have imagined. 

     Phase 4: My bell has been rung and I pass out. This is the only solution to the carnival that has become my universe.

     Yellow, my friends, for me is just way too high.

     Stay tuned in for my next post. Things do get better. I've been able to cut down on several of my heavy medications and I do feel better. To be continued..........